Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
