Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
