Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
