Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
