Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
