No, you can still breathe under the balls.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize
