her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize