I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Randomize
