Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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