So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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