The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize