sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
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