A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
