This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
