i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Randomize
