fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
