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• (248): View more from Michigan

  Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?

  (312): View more from Illinois

  It's worth it.

  (248): View more from Michigan

  How worth it?

  (312): View more from Illinois

  Back door worth it

  Fav 4 4906 1857

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.

  Fav 23 3528 1079

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.

  Fav 40 3655 7341

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.

  Fav 3 1251 3272

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?

  Fav 35 2600 1147

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• (604): View more from British Columbia

  i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.

  (1-604): View more from British Columbia

  please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.

  Fav 11 5908 1543

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• (251): View more from Alabama

  Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.

  Fav 5 734 1567

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• (504): View more from Louisiana

  why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan

  Fav 9 1675 1103

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• (812): View more from Indiana

  I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos

  Fav 13 1316 970

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him

  Fav 2 1227 913

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos

  Fav 0 568 842

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.

  Fav 3 33 45

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• (315): View more from New York

  You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests

  Fav 0 31 4

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.

  Fav 0 18 36

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• (929): View more from

  Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"

  Fav 0 61 35

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