I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
