if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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