Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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