Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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