3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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