yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
