Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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