she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
