Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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