so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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