Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
