No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
