i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Randomize
