Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
