I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
