Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
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