please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
