found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
