using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
