Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
