Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
