well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
