I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize