You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still dying that you shit outside
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
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