eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
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