at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
