Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
