Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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