I cockslap morals
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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