I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
