Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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