Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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