Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Randomize
