I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Randomize
