I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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