respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
The Olympian is in my bed
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
