Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Sext me about skeletons
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