I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize