How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
