guys are only as good as the porn they watch
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
no you cant smoke seaweed
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
