But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
