dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
